K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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