The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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