Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
