What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
17 year olds will be the death of me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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