What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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