ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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