did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
