I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
