Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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