Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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