MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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