That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
