All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
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