I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
