It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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