I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
