I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
