Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
