you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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