I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I think your dad took our porno
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
