He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
