They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
