If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
