pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
