Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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