I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
The adults are the big ones right?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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