So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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