i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
