She is in my trunk
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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