Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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