Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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