i was born a porn star she said
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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