standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
