Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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