Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
