ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
