Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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