i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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