i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
