You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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