The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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