I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
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Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
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Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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