I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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