I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
