is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
