"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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