I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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