Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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