I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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