so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
