RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
