You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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