Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.