It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch