Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
we have officially lost it.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.