you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
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He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
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Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.