Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?