It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
