were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
