Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
