I cockslap morals
Your dad touched me again.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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