I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
PANTIES FOUND
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
