Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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