so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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