You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
