my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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