saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
